Oh Crap!

Ever have one of those days when it just seems like everything is stacked against you?  Well, today was my day.

It all started fairly innocently.  Luke woke up. 

Then it all went downhill from there. 

I was talking on the phone with my friend Suzanne when I realized Luke was covered--COVERED--in sunscreen.  He had found the bottle, squirted it all over himself, and was attempting to rub it in.  I cleaned him up and sent him on his way.

It wasn't long after that that I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day.  I came out, and I smelled what can only be described as a poopy diaper--amplified. I looked up, and I saw a version of this:


Yep, it's poop.  And it's everywhere.


Luke has been really fascinated lately with taking off his diaper.  And this time it was not innocent.  I realized what was going on, screamed, and before I knew it I was chasing Luke under the dining room table.  (Don't worry, I cleaned it up.)  I finally apprehended him, and into the bathtub he went.

And while I was attempting to rid the family room of Luke's new favorite artistic medium, I found myself, over the course of a few minutes, placing Luke back in the bathtub three times before finally cleaning him up, drying him off, applying the diaper, reapplying the diaper, duct taping it (just for fun, and for pics to send Jeff at work), stuffing him into Pull Ups, putting him back into a diaper when those came off, too, and finally sticking him in a pair of overalls that I knew he could not get out of.

I wouldn't even say we were in the clear at that point, because I was still dealing with the aftermath of the poop explosion. 

And wouldn't you know it, I was right.  I walked in the other room to find Luke playing with my hair gel.  On the bedroom floor.  Yep, maximum hold hair gel.  The carpet's not going anywhere.

So what happened next?  It seemed like a good time for a nap for the tired little torpedo.  I laid down with Luke to coax him to sleep.  An hour later (and two episodes of Imagination Movers later), I had had a nice little snooze, but I don't think Luke ever closed his eyes. 

Geez.  No winning today!  Not with this kid!  I gave it a little longer, then I put Luke in our bed to see if he'd relax. 

This time, lotion!  And lots of it.  All over the bed.  The sheets, the pillow cases, the blanket, the coverlet, the comforter.  All covered in lotion.

What's with this kid? 

I did the thing that came to my mind next.  I loaded him in the car, convinced he'd be asleep in minutes.  Nope.  Wrong again.  We made it all the way to the mall, and he was just as excited to be looking out the windows as ever.  I decided to make my exchange in the mall, only to realize that I had forgotten--once again--Luke's shoes.  So, into Dillard's I went with my barefooted kid.  I know the salesclerks were impressed.

Did he go to sleep after that?  Nope.  Of course not.  All the way home we went, and still no shut-eye from little Luke.

By the time we got home I realized it had to be 5:00 somewhere.  I looked up, and it was 5:00 here!  Out came the wine glass.  Jeff called, and I begged him to come home.  BEGGED.  PLEADED.

He did, we ate, and I was very thankful that Jeff took Luke outside long enough for me to load the dishwasher--the task I had planned to do first thing this morning. 

As we were eating, Jeff told me he would take Luke outside, get him tired, bring him in for a bath, and put him down and have him asleep immediately. 

And he was right.  I decided to go ahead and combine Luke's goodnight song with my own prayer (Because, heaven knows, I needed one!), and Luke was out cold by the time I finished the first verse of "Just a Closer Walk with Thee."  :-)

So now I quote my favorite line from one of my favorite books, Gone with the Wind.  At the very end, Scarlet O'Hara tells nobody in particular, "Tomorrow is another day."  And that's what I have to say about that.

Goodnight, everyone!