Crepes of Wrath

For as long as I can remember, my mom has spoiled my sister and me with her amazing crepes--for important occasions, visits home, holidays, or just Saturdays for no particular reason. With just the right amount of fluff, just the right amount of sweet, and just the right amount of sugar rolled up inside, these things are to die for.

She used to tell stories about how my grandma would make them for her and her brother, and how she'd have two pans going at once. The story goes that my great, great-grandfather came over from Sweden to escape some European war, only to enlist upon arrival in America's Civil War. That's enough for me to credit someone with a family recipe for Swedish crepes.

In college I fell in love with IHOP's cheese blintzes.  Late at night, after fulfilling my serving duties at Applebee's, I'd look for fellow IHOP devotees.  The cheese blintzes never disappointed.  Beautiful crepes filled with a cottage cheese/cream cheese mixture and topped with strawberries--yummm.

So when I "grew up" and decided I was ready to cook my own crepes I asked my mom for her recipe.  I never got them just right, and I somehow always lost the recipe.  So I just decided to find one in a book.  It's not the same, but it works well enough.  Motivation to visit my parents, I suppose.

Then when I was pregnant with Luke I was so completely nauseous that I could only bear the thought one day of having some delicious IHOP cheese blintzes.  I called in an order before I left home, thinking I'd pick them up, nibble on some before school, and finish the order at lunch.  What a terrific idea.  I'm not sure why I hadn't thought of that days earlier!  Well, I was horrified to learn that they had taken them off their menu.

And so, it was then that I realized I would have to get serious about making my own crepes--and my own cheese blintzes.  I followed the recipe I had, and Jeff said he loved them.  Good enough reason for me to keep making them.

Fast forward to tonight.  Hungry for crepes/cheese blintzes, but just too dang impatient to cook the crepes and clean up the mess, I decided I'd take a short cut and buy crepes already cooked in a package at Kroger.

Before I go on, you must understand the weight of importance placed on these poor Kroger crepes.  If I haven't impressed upon you, dear reader, the gravitas of the perfect crepe, then I don't even know that I can go on.  Let's just say that these packaged crepes were standing on the shoulders of giant crepes--both my mother's (and her mother's) and IHOP's.

So Jeff called to tell me he was on his way home, and I got busy rolling up the crepes filled with my low fat cottage cheese/low fat cream cheese mixture.  I topped them with strawberries and sent them on their way to the oven.  They looked pretty good.

Well, they were horrible.  Awful.  Disgusting.  Actually, they were nothing.  They disintegrated!  By the time they got to the table there was nothing but cooked cottage cheese/cream cheese and strawberries.  Not good, people.  Not good.

So let's just say tonight I learned at least one very important lesson.  Still trying to figure out which one it is, exactly, and I think I'll put it in the form of a test question:

Which lesson did Brandi learn tonight?

A.  Don't mess with Mimi's recipe

B.  Don't cut corners

C.  Cut corners, but find a different package

D.  All of the above

Did I tell you IHOP finally put their cheese blintzes back on the menu?  Thank the pancake gods!



Not your mother's crepes.  Not my mother's crepes, at least!